The psychopaths Relationship Circle

From Women Who Love Psychopaths, Sandra Brown, Safer Relationships

While she is having the romance of her life, the psychopath is in various phases of contact and relationship with a multitude of others. Even if she does not find out about others, it doesnt mean they dont exist. Sometimes, its years later that women come across the evidence of what he was really doing.

Given his extraversion, dominance, brain malfunctions, lack of moral reasoning, and hyper sexuality, most psychopaths dont even know the true meaning of monogamy. We sarcastically refer to their concept as
serial monogamy, they are monogamous in many relationships at one time! Since they hate to be alone, bored and cant say no to a perceived reward of extra, curricular sex, infidelity is imminent even in the beginning of her relationship with him.

The stages of the relationship time line listed below are multiple stages existing at one time with multiple people. The women in our survey were just ONE of many that were involved in these stages of relationship
with the psychopath.

The Psychopaths Relationship Circle
- Pre
- Middle
- End
- Post

The PreStage: He is trolling. Online, out in the physical world, at work, in the neighborhood, anywhere. He is looking and testing the waters of connection with other women and men. He measures his possibilities by
eye contact, boundary violations, and other cues and clues that hint to him someone is an open target. He could have many women and men that he is in this testing phase with;trying out the waters before he moves in to lure.

The Early Stage: He moves in to make more contact with those he has his eye on. He may have multiple cell phones, multiple email accounts or a dozen other ways that he keeps himself available for contact with other male and female potential sex partners. (Even psychopaths who allege they are not gay may engage in same sex activity.) In the early stage partners are ruled in and out by their levels of availability. He will only troll for so long and will then look for those who are willing to take it to the next level.

The Middle Stage: He is having regular contact and sex with numerous partners which can include another semi full life with these other sexual partners. The woman who is in his life may begin to find unusual behaviors while in their romancing or luring stage. He may be 24/7 with her and then she will not have contact with him for days.

Plausible excuses he gives cover for where he was, but texts, pages, phone calls, emails and other suspicious behaviors from others can begin even as early as the honeymoon phase with her. Thats because he has multiple relationships that he has been in for quite some time, probably before her.

The End Stage: He is constantly ending the relationship with someone at some time. The end of the relationship comes for various reasons, some are on to him and confront, others wont give him money or sex any longer, he has enough other relationships going and needs to cut some off. Various reasons can exist why someone gets the relationship axe from the psychopath.

The Post Stage: A time period extending after the formal end of the relationship with her or with others. Those that the psychopath has broken up with are never off the speed dial and never out of the Relationship Circle even if he has not contacted them in YEARS! Women in current relationships who find out about his affairs often believe that if he says he has stopped fooling around than he really has stopped contact with others. While he may take a hiatus to try to win back one of the women's loyalty, no one ever really leaves a psychopath's life. No one.

Women have said they have heard from him out of the blue 6 months, 10 years or even 30 years LATER after the break up. He calls as if nothing has happened, says she "popped into his mind" and he "wanted to check on her to tell her how much he always cared for her." Given both his boredom and excitement seeking, women must know that they, nor any other lover, ever really flies off his radar for long.


The relationships circle exemplifies the strategic targeting that psychopaths use of multiple relationships at one time. While woman #1 is basking in the hyper focus of his attention, he is trolling, in the middle of, and ending, multiple other relationships with men and women. His multiple relationships that are beginning, enduring, and ending no doubt play into her relationship dynamics with the psychopath.

Of course, woman #1 is high on oxytocin and believes she just met her soulmate.