The Sexual Risk Taker

Sarah Strudwick

Its a well known fact that psychopaths and sociopaths are sexual predators and have multiple partners. If the victims are lucky to enough know that their partners have been having sex with other people, most have found themselves in an STD clinic getting themselves tested. I have had a number of clients who have been out with these types of predators and the first thing I advise is they get themselves a test. Its very upsetting when they come back and say they have caught something and so far I am happy to say that none have been unfortunate enough to catch aids although a few have had infections that needed treatment like clamydia.

When it comes to sex the psychopathic type like the sociopath and the narcissist seem to be a real risk taker and I have not met one single woman I have coached who has had protected sex with their psychopathic partners. Somehow Psychopaths have an uncanny knack of convincing us they we dont need any, citing excuses like they have had the snip, they are allergic to latex, or in the case of women, they are on the pill. Many borderline type women will use this method of a way of entrapment by getting themselves pregnant as a way of trapping their partners.

Worse if the man is a married psychopath and the woman is sleeping with them and they are their wifes, these women have no idea how many people their partners have had sex with, sometimes in the dozens. Depending on what motivates the psychopath whether its sex or money, they think they are invincible and untouchable and that nothing will ever hurt them, not even your run of the mills STD's like thrush or chlamydia . But these are common illnesses victims get from their psychopath partners not to mention your more serious ones like herpes or aids.

So it got me wondering how invincible they really believe they are. Tiger Woods is a prime example of a celebrity sex addict, having multiple affairs with sex workers behind his wife's back. I am pretty sure if you were to investigate him you would find he had paid extras to have go bareback. He finally admitted to having sex with 120 women although being a narcissist that may have been an exaggeration.

Always one to search for answers, it prompted me to do a bit of investigation on other celebrity risk takers in the media who might have this “risk taking” mentality and was it exclusive to a narcissist or a psychopath.

There is also some evidence that the disordered personality doesn't care which gender they have liaisons with. I should know from personal experience as my own ex had liaisons with both men and women and one of the things he bragged about on the websites I found him on along with his love of unprotected sex ! Interestingly enough in a recent study it was suggested that the narcissist male has a high tolerance for other gender groups including gays and bi sexuals but suggests that heterosexual men's narcissism is linked to an adversarial and angry stance toward heterosexual women more than toward other groups.

You may be asking yourself why would I be stupid enough to think he would be having safe sex with me. Well one of the lies he told me was that he was not having sex with his “abusive” wife and the other thing was that he was a blood donor. I had actually been to the donor centre once with him and know they test regularly so I never gave it a second thought after that. However I don't ever remember him going to give his blood again after that one visit which was early on in the relationship.

I was recently speaking to one of my clients whos partner was caught having sex with escorts and she also believed that he was having unprotected sex. Despite the risks she continues to have sex with him. She appears to be in denial about the risks to her own health and the fact that she has children makes me wonder why she would even consider staying with him.

To investigate this theory further I decided to call up a woman who knows a sex worker well and so I decided to become friends with them over a period of time to find out more about the sexual risk taker. They are very down to earth and over the last few months have come up with some very eye opening stories about some of their more interesting clients including a few celebrities. Recently I was watching a TV programme and one of the people on there reminded me very much of my ex. Public schoolboy type, well educated, married and so on. The “persona” he portrayed was that of the “loving husband” and a family man. I had started to see a few red flags in their behaviour and was having a conversation with this woman who knew the sex worker. By pure coincidence, I said I think they are possibly a narcissist or a psychopath and I have a feeling they would be into xxxxxx. Without revealing anymore because I don't want a lawsuit, I was gobsmacked when I found out they were a client of her friends and that some of their many interests were the same as my ex's which I didn't actually put in the book.

They then went onto tell me about another extremely well known celebrity. One of the things he insists on doing is getting them to find him oriental women who are known to be “high risk” and ensuring that every encounter with them is done without protection. Afterwards he abuses the women and throws money at them calling them vile names. This particular celebrity has already been exposed for cheating on his wife but how on earth would his wife feel if she knew the risks he was putting her and her family through. The sheer audacity of thinking that he is doing this behind his wife's back is absurd not to mention that the woman said he did it openly without any regard for anyone finding him out.

I am not condoning cheating but I wondered whether some cheaters might actually have a conscience. Whereas the high risk sexual predators have some kind of massive self destruct because even though most people do not cheat surely if they are going to cheat perhaps they might consider being careful? Not the psychopath. Not only are they putting their victims at risk but they are also putting themselves at risk. This seems to tie in with the fearlessness of the psychopath whereby they literally have not fear almost to the point of stupidity.

Sexual risk taking is something that is normally associated with the younger generation or those who take drugs but my own ex didn't take drugs nor was a teenager. Perhaps like these two celebrities who also showed signs of either psychopathy or narcissism its just part of their feeling of omnipotence and that not only can people not touch them but neither can sexually transmitted diseases either.

On a more sinister note. If one of these predators were to catch anything they wouldn't hesitate to pass it onto victims as was recently highlighted in the case of Renee Burgess Martinez who's husband infected her with HIV and knowingly infected her and dozens of other women. Gregory Martinez had already had aids 3 years prior to meeting his wife and his excuse for not telling her was that he was afraid she would leave him.

Tony Perkins is another man who was arrested for spreading aids whilst knowingly having the virus. He said he felt any woman who slept with him on the first few dates deserved to get HIV from him. One victim told investigators when she confronted Perkins, said he broke down and admitted to having unprotected sex with many women and explained "that since he got AIDS from a whore, and if any woman was dumb enough to sleep with him, in his eyes, he would be giving it back to a whore."

Its interesting how they seem to justify their behaviour and when going back to my own psychopathic ex's exploits which did not include spreading HIV but did include impregnating lesbian women couples on a sperm donors site. When I asked him why he did it his response was “I don't know!”. Of course he did know because he had no conscience. But I wondered whether they do these things as a subconscious way of punishing people or whether its just to inflate their own sense of self importance and omnipotence. It maybe as I said earlier they have a massive self destruct button. Interestingly enough I watched a video in which showed a serial killer and asked him why he did what he did. His reply was that “he just wanted to die”. In fact he would have been delighted if he got the electric chair. Since these people live soulless lives harming and victimising others perhaps thats the key to all of their behaviour, an unconscious deathwish they can never act out, that is unless they get caught. Many extreme psychopaths such as Ian Brady have been known to say they wanted to die but it perhaps its just a cop out they use when they get caught?

Either way if I have learnt anything from this is next time I decide to go out with any man even if I know they are not a absolutely not a psychopath the very first thing I will be saying when I ever get around to having sex again is “where are the condoms?”.